number eleven.

Today's findings:
I went to one of my current favourite opshops today and picked up a whole heap of pillow cases, doona covers and doilies for $20, I already have some plans in the work however need to get some more gear first. So in the mean time I'm loving just looking at some of the beautiful retro patterns!





I especially love this quilted retro tablecloth I got, its covered in these hexagons and all of the material used is just gorgeous! I dont know if I can cut it up to make all the things I want to make!I'm also still slowly making my granny square blanket, I've just run out of wool so need to get some more, however here are a couple of progress pictures. Sorry about the bad quality, I'm craving a better camera however I have NO funds right now!



This week has been spent rehearsing and going to therapy, I also got a referral to see a psychologist and hopefully that'll help with my current situation. I got my uni results and I did really well especially after missing six weeks of class being ill. I got a distinction for directing and a High distinction of 'writing of performance', this was awesome, especially as the percentage was really high, I got 92, which is my second highest mark. I know this is good but I'm still struggling to feel good about it, to acknowledge my achievements, I dont know, it's strange.

Uni starts back next week, the first four weeks are going to be extremely busy but after that it will hopefully settle down with Lysistrata being over, I'm feeling good about uni starting.

I've been reading and looking at some of the most amazing blogs, they're stunning, and very inspiring.

That's all for now, Peace Out.

L.

number ten.

I recently did a photoshoot with my lovely friend Sarah Walker, below are a couple of shots, it's theme was the bacchanal's and Bill Henson lighting and took ideas of being physically connected and emotionally disconnected.

You can see more of Sarah's work at her Deviant Art






My parents are away for a week and last night I made roast pumpkin, fetta and spinach pasta and watched movies with friends and tonight I cooked matriciana and used my mum's recipe and it tasted great, I'm very happy about this.I would so love to live alone and bake, craft, and drink tea all day, alas I have no money and dont think I'd be able to live alone for very long, I guess this week will test me out, however my dream is to own my own boutique store and live above it and sell vintage clothes accessories and handmade crafty things/art and stuff, I dont know how I'll make this happen, maybe just marry someone rich...hmmmm...I'm not sure yet, leave it with me.

I also made a high waisted skirt out of a bedsheet/tablecloth that has a gorgeous floral design and cost me $1.50 at an awesome opshop on Warrigal Rd in Glen Iris.


Sorry about the frown, I was rushing out the door when I took this!

Uni results come out at the end of this week, I did two subjects and was away for 6 weeks in the middle of semester and I'm aiming for High Distinctions...hmmmm.


My crocheted blanket is going well, I wish I'd chosen better wool to begin with however I started with acrylic and I'm going to finish with acrylic, I guess I'll just have to make another one.

I'm incredibly inspired by all the blogs on my blog roll, the vintage fashion and craft blogs I'm seeing are absolutely stunning and I'm continuously being inspired to do craft and art, yay for amazingly inspiring people.

I watched Perfume last night, good movie, I much prefer the book though.

Still reading one flew over the cuckoo's nest, going well, enjoying it. Once I set myself up with a camera I'll upload some pics of what I've been up to.

Besides this I have rehearsals Monday to Thursday every day from now until performance week (4 or 5 weeks away) which is a little ridiculous and full on, however today's seven hour rehearsal went really really well and I finally got a handle on my Old woman character. Woo!

I think that's all for the moment,

peace out.

L.

number nine.

DOING

crocheting and reading, I got back from my holiday away yesterday, didn't make it the whole week which is a little disappointing however I had a good time while I was there, just couldn't handle the copious amounts of people alcohol and loud (and often bad) music. The place we stayed at was absolutely stunning, a farm with a lake that has been converted into holiday accommodation and that is surrounded by thick bush and ridges and valleys, it is incredibly secluded, a good setting for a horror film... Anyway, both nights were extremely raucous and fun, I was first in bed both nights and also the most awake both days, a friend and I walked along through one of the valleys and then up the ridge and sat and listened to nature for a while, it was amazing, we came back and chilled with everyone around the fire. The days were spent watching True Blood, a vampire series (pretty terrible), reading, paddling on the paddle boat around the lake, getting stranded and having to be saved, making fires, crocheting, listening to music, talking and eating, and of course the nights were spent drinking, dancing, singing, spaing, talking, smoking and covering a friends car in 800 metres of glad wrap (the best practical joke ever considering most of the group walked past at one stage or another and didn't notice), this was completed with a cardboard sign saying “happy birthday jack, here's your new car”, it wasn't his birthday.

I came back to Melbourne with a friend and had a four hour nap and haven't done anything besides crocheting and reading since, I like it this way.

WATCHING

Secretary- awesome, a romance love story about an S and M couple, what a fantastic idea, the movie is great, it starts strangely and sets itself up as a raunchy sexy movie and then by the end of it it's a romantic chick flick, I just adored the story and thought it was extremely smart, yay for smart movies.

True Blood – not worth it.

Clueless – an old favourite of course, very funny, and sentimental as most of us grew up with this movie.

READING

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest – so far interesting, definitely glad I read the introduction first. I will keep you updated on how it is going.

MAKING

A crocheted blanket big enough to cover my double bed, I'm not working with a pattern or anything, just using alternating colours (pink, navy, dark purple and light purple) and seeing how I go, I'll also be starting some for friends soon. Other than this I'm looking forward to starting some felting, mostly brooches and small toys, I'm also looking at soft doll making, this is all pending on me getting some money first as I have none.

FEELING

OK, I don't feel like going into it. Needless to say that everything is strange.

NEEDING

still a job, I'm browsing seek, and the Monash job site every day and finding nothing, I really need something low key, I'm not sure what I'm going to do, hopefully if I keep looking I'll find something eventually, if not then I'll start pissing everyone off about getting me a job wherever they work.

NEXT WEEK

Rehearsals...ugh.

number eight.

DOING
Rehearsals for Lysistrata, going well, not really over enthused about it, but it's going along fine considering that its taking over all of my holidays. You win some you lose some, I'm focusing that I'll be finished in week 4 of the semester. Other than that I haven't been doing much, just faffing around at home doing little crafty things.

WATCHING
Sunshine Cleaning – nice dark humour, not as good as little miss sunshine, however beautiful moments and some beautiful relationships shown in the movie, very funny.

My Girl – Watched this with the boyfriend, an old favourite I haven't seen in years, I like the era portrayed, and I balled my eyes out and was in a bad mood for the rest of the night....that was a bit of a problem, however EVERYONE should watch this again!

The Proposal – great cheesy chick flick, set mainly in Alaska and has only increased my love of this small city and made me want to move there even more. Very cute, cheesy and predictable movie, and it made me happy.


READING
D. H. Lawrence's Lady Chatterley's Lover – Reading this at the moment, it's quite good, taken ages to get into however I've been egged on by the fact that it's a bit of a classic, also its very true to its time with some graphic capitalist rants that are quite off-putting, however it all fits in with the characters. So I AM enjoying it.

Homer's Odyssey – Just bought and am going to start devouring it soon.
Virginia Wolf's Mrs Dalloway – Recommended by a friend and will start reading soon.

MAKING
On my to-do list I have a couple of things to make which include some little journals. While I was in hospital I learned how to bind books and so I'm creating some little journals that hopefully I can perfect and give to friends for birthdays etc. Also I'm going to be making some little soft toy
creations but I need to get my hands on some material, op shops are good for that. I've taught myself to crotchet, and am currently quite obsessed with this craft, so hopefully I'll be uploading a photo of my finished blanket once it's done, fingers crossed.

Also when I get some time I'm going to do some foam prints on record covers and vinyl records for my bedroom, however this is still far away as I need to figure out what exactly I want to print.

FEELING
Pretty low, not sure why, everything is kind of stuck, I'm so afraid of intimacy and it's affecting my relationships with people, I prefer to be by myself and I find myself withdrawing more and more. I think this is somewhat due to an extremely active week the week before last week. Or maybe I'm just happier by myself. I've been reading a lot of blogs and they are amazing, however they aren't very personal, which I guess I like. However this space is a space for me to write about how I feel and how I'm going with issues I have faced with mental health.

NEEDING
A job. One that is low stress...preferably something that I like, I'd love to work in a book store, however with the current economic climate I think it's a matter of beggars cant be choosers.

NEXT WEEK
I'm going away to the country with roughly 20 friends from uni, it is going to be a very loud and dramatic week away. I'd love a holiday to take in the surroundings, read, crotchet, draw and paint, and I have a feeling I won't get the chance to do much of this, hopefully I can gather some allies and attempt to have a relaxing week away.

number seven.

OK, time for an update.

I am currently spending my time rehearsing with the Graduate ensemble for a production of Lysistrata, it is nice being around people who are genuinely wanting to study acting, so rehearsals are awesome and focused, although rehearsing 3 to 4 days a week is eating away at my holidays and sometimes the honours crew get wanky and narky, particularly the Melbourne uni students who are in it.

I'm also attending two lots of outpatient programs which is also going well, I'm going to Cognitive behaviour Therapy: Social Anxiety on Wednesday nights, and also a support group and another anxiety program on Friday day, it's nice to be around people dealing with what you're dealing with, especially because I spend most of my time hiding any symptoms or really anything to do with anxiety and depression and bi-polar stuff. So YEH. Fun times there.

On the weekend I also learned how to breath fire, there are photos on my facebook and I breathed two metres of fire which was better than our teacher could so yeh, there are possibilities for career opportunities here, if anyone wants a fire breather let me know. It was an amazing experience.

Other than this my weeks been rather shit, I missed a nights worth of medication which has played havoc on my whole system leaving me dizzy and light headed for a day, it hasn't been fun. I haven't been in a very good head space this week and I'm not sure what's brought this on, hopefully next week will be better.

Things I have watched:

Milk, one of the most amazing movies, I highly recommend this as both a good movie and a good look at the difficulties faced by homosexuals through the 50's 60's and 70's. It was truly a beautiful and sad movie.

I also saw In Bruges which was fabulous, book ended really well and had beautiful dark humour, I really enjoyed it.

I also re-watched A mighty Wind and also Best in Show which was great, they never get boring, the comedy is fantastic and the writers are amazing at character work, watching them again made me realize how amazing both the script and the actors character were.

Things I have listened to:

I got some great new music off Nick, this included The Flaming Lips, a band from Oklahoma which I love, The Middle East, a band from Townsville that I saw in concert at the Northcote social club and they were phenomenal live, their recordings arent as amazing but the beautiful harmonies and instumentation is always awesome. Blonde Redhead and Devotcka are also amazing bands. Still need to listen to a lot more music though.

So, coming up I've got more rehearsals, more therapy, seeing a couple of friends, and hopefully cheering up a little bit, I cant wait to go back to uni, I'm doing subjects that I'm really looking forward to and hopefully will lead somewhere.

Peace out,

L.

number six.

I have a boyfriend, his name is Nick, and he is lovely.
He also has THE MOST amazing music collection, 150 gigs of music...awesome.

So I have a couple of new band interests, they are:

The Middle East, a Queensland band I believe, they are quite unknown and I'm seeing them play this Sunday, they are super chilled and awesome.

Deerhoof, an older band, kind of rocky but with a whimsical female vocalist, equals a good mix. I like them.

The Besnard Lakes, nice falsetto boys singing melodic songs with nice instrumentation including violins and brass.

Electrelane, a bit more techno influences, a late nineties super cool all girl band, they are just super cool, kind of chilled.

The Knife, Sweden duo known for their song 'Heartbeats', good electronic band, sweet vocals and harmonies.

I'm also getting into some sixties rock which is pretty sweet, The Kinks and The Easybeats, yeh.

Ummm I have my directors assessment tomorrow, me and a friend directed a scene from Summer of the Aliens by Louis Nowra, it's gone really well I think, it's been weird, I dont know what to say exactly other than Socialist Alternatives are the worst to do anything with if it isn't related directly to Socialist Alternative stuff.

My week has filled up really quickly with directing stuff, group therapy stuff and a couple of parties and gigs which is exciting and also daunting. I'm also not getting a break as I go straight into rehearsals for Lysistrata which I'm doing with the Honours program at uni, I chose to do it so it's my own fault, but it also means I get to finish a subject four weeks into semester. It'll be interesting coz most honours shows suck so I'm intrigued as to what the process is going to be like, we have heaps of rehearsals and were told we'd only have two a week (lie).

I start CBT Social Anxiety tomorrow night, I dont know if I really qualify for the group as I CAN handle some social situations, its just crowds and stuff that I can't do. Nick made an interesting observation that my social anxiety issues are all linked to the visual, so I dont like people looking at me intimately and I struggle being around heaps of people because I think they're all judging me (on the visual), I know this is irrational but thats what Generalized Anxiety Disorder is.

I've grown so much since spending a month in hospital and I feel much more mature and able to handle things. It feels good.

Thats all for now, post soon.

L.

number five.

It's Saturday, I've had breakfast and now I'm listening to music, I'm calm, I can breathe, and that is a good feeling.
This weekend will be good if I can keep going with an assignment and all the rest.

Theatre:

Innocence: VCA production, about caravaggio's life, it was amazing, the set was amazing, the lighting was amazing, the actors were amazing. Great show. Well done fleur and wollan.

Reading:

"On the road" update: Disgustingly misogynistic, I find myself cringing all the time, but it comes with the style of writing, other than the disgusting sexism it's great.

Listening:

Kings of collision
Edith Piaf

Things I've done:

finished an assignment
started an assignment
handed in my main assignment for performance writing
got a two week extension main assignment for directing
kissed a boy
listened to the likes of bon iver, beirut, doves, devendra banhart, jose gonzales and edith piaf.
Watched television
kissed a boy again
bought an amazing pair of shoes
slept
made bircher muesli
made anzac biscuits
saw blood wedding again
started dating a boy
stayed up until 3am just talking to friends
slept in til lunch time


It's been a good week, this weekend will be great. :-)


L.