number twenty-four.

Things I am grateful for today:

Oranges - they are so refreshing.

My laptop - for being small and efficient.

Carpooling - for allowing me to cheat the system and park for free.

Avocado - for being creamy and full of essential fats.

Sleep - which I will hopefully get tonight...

L.

number twenty-three.

Today I am grateful for:

• A new found love for Radiohead

• My bedroom
  

• A sleep in

• The new Edition of Frankie Magazine

• The bright colours I see on other peoples blogs

• warm showers

• general feelings or warmth towards others

• a day off

L.

number twenty-two.

The beginning of a play for script writing?

November:

I grew up in the outer suburbs of Melbourne, in the Dandenong ranges, the house we lived in was a proud home where other parents came to drink tea with my mother and talk about how lovely our neighbourhood was.

I love my family so much but I cant live with them anymore, our relationships became obsessive, we were secluded, we began to separate ourselves from the outside world. We had a common ground, a secret we shared, a secret that many families share and never indulge in the process of talking about it. We didn't share either and this is where problems began, we became our routines, our bed times, our meal times, our work times. We were hollow shells created by our social norms and that contained nothing but musty air and dead follicles, these hollow shells become full with secret sensitivities and thought processes at surprising times when we eat our meals or while away the time before bed, they ooze out of our ears and eyes but never our mouths. My mother sucks them back in and straightens her starched skirt with tired hands that spend hours straightening skirts and pulling skin taut so that her secrets don't seep out.

I left five years ago along with millions of other who leave their families behind them year after year. I now live with a dog who has replaced my mother with better facial expressions and the kind of loyalty only a dog can have. My mother and I write to each other and that is because her shell needs it to stay together, to maintain its cracking walls that could burst open with nothing but stale damp air. I know there's something in there, perhaps pressed against the walls she's so carefully constructed and I know that if it was released her shell would come crashing down, but this is exactly what needs to happen, and exactly what wont happen.

Margaret:
Dear November,

You never made your bed and for that I'm still disappointed in you. It's been 1,824 days since I've seen your face and the knowledge that your weekly chores remained unfinished is always playing on my mind. I hope you are well and living in a healthy and sterile environment. I cleaned your room, I couldn't bare the sight of it, it took me nearly all day but it now looks like a respectable living space. I also went to the library yesterday to look at some new recipes, your father might come over and I want it to be a special night.
Please brush your teeth everyday,

Margaret.

L.

number twenty-one.

Here's where I'm up to:

Making : a place to be comfortable.
Cooking : nothing, just fruit and veg for me.
Drinking : water, three litres a day to be precise.
Reading: Steppenwolf by Herman Hesse
Wanting: many things, namely a leather knapsack
Looking: at the computer screen, the waving kitty, and the sketching wooden doll.
Playing: Farmville
Wasting: my time playing Farmvile.
Sewing: nothing as our sewing machine is broken. lame.
Wishing: for many things, namely a holiday.
Enjoying: the $2.50 Ham and gourmet salad roll I just ate, yay for end of day sales.
Waiting: for the weekend, saturday to be exact, as it is my day off.
Liking: a boy.
Wondering: How long I can keep this up.
Loving: the beautiful blogs I've been reading.
Hoping: that this play will be wonderful.
Marvelling: at the amazing people I work with.
Needing: my cold to go away and my lines to be learnt.
Smelling: like prada
Wearing: my rehearsal petticoat, and a new pashmina scarf
Following: my nose?
Noticing: the rich colours of the student theatre office.
Knowing: I have a rehearsal in 6 minutes.
Thinking: about my lines and what scenes we'll be doing.
Feeling: tired and a bit sick, but content.
Bookmarking: nothing as this isnt my computer...
Opening: emails.
Giggling: about pretend kisses.

mmmm....


L.

number twenty.

Today I am grateful for:

• beanies that cover bad hair

• cool breezes where the sun still shines

• my psychologist

• strepsil throat lozenges.

• Falkner park

• Coffee

• Student Theatre

L.

number nineteen.

A friend is having her 21st birthday party tonight, 50's themed. I made her a hair bow clip thing out of hand dyed felt and floss, very simple but she loves bows and pink things. This is what it looks like:
Lack of make up and nice clothes, but I'm spending my weekend doing script work, cleaning and procrastinating from doing homework.

I'm in a slightly better mood than in the last post so for now I guess I'll just be posting when I'm in a good mood, or in a bad one and wanting to complain. mmmm, thats all for now.


L.

number eighteen.

Ok so this is my fourth attempt at posting.

All previous efforts were halted by power failures and lack of inspiration.

I seem to be taking a small hiatus from my blog after a lack of interest from other parties, no comments etc, I didn't start this blog to incite comments and for other people but after being drawn into the crafting blog world I started to comment on others and got comments in return, and since my last posts seem to have not attracted many views I feel a little bit disheartened and I hate that I feel that way. I didn't start this for other people, I started it for me so I dont know where I stand now in terms of my blogging habits and what I should write and not write in terms of my life.

I also had an unfortunate discovery of a blog thats been written detailing the private life of a close friend of mine, this has lead to a small breakdown on his behalf and a huge amount of disgust for this person on my behalf.

People who I expected to read my posts havent been and this is a little bit dissapointing and leaves me with little faith in them. I guess I've just fallen off the radar of the blog world (the small place in which I held) and have landed back in the live world in which is taking up ALL of my time. I dont really feel motivated to post and when I do I'm torn with what material to actually put up, this was originally a place that I would share my crafting projects as well as parts of my life that are more intimate including my struggles with Bipolar II disorder and how I'm coping with this illness and making the most of life, also the things that I find help the most including inspirational friends and art etc. So that's where I'm at for now.

Ok, thats my rant for the moment.

Now back to what I've been doing, I recently landed the lead role in a production which will be put on at Monash Uni Student Theatre in September. It's called 'Mourning Becomes Electra' by Eugene O'neill.I'm playing the role of Lavinia which is the 'electra' character, it's a psychological drama that so far hasd proved to be fantastic and intense. The rehearsal process is really enjoyable while still testing my limits and concentration span!

Other than that I'm rehearsing for Lysistrata which is actually on next week,

(all photos sourced from google images.)

we're doing 6 shows in 4 days and then it's done and I've finished a subject! So I'll be left with a contemporary performance subject and a script writing subject, both of which I'm really enjoying so far.

So that's that.

L.